QOD

In case you were wondering - and I'm pretty sure no one was - how the Weekly World News found its way into our football pool, there are three reasons. The first is that completely accurate headline. The second is that the print edition of the WWN has just this month become defunct (so you'll need some other way to amuse yourself while the cashier runs a price check on the Charmin). The third is this awesome quote I ran across the other day from one of WWN's editors, explaining how the tabloid survived as long as it did:

A guy calls up The New York Times and says, 'My toaster's talking to me.' The Times hangs up on him. And then he calls us up and says, 'My toaster's talking.' We say, 'OK, put the toaster on. We want to talk to him.'

Dust It Off

Dear Friends of Smoove, past, present, and future

Pop quiz. Which is fastest?

A quark

A shark

A spark

Your 20's

Summer in Milwaukee

Of course, the correct answer is (e). ‘Cause here we are…

You can tell it’s August. The days are long and the air is hazy. The Brewers are finding new and inventive ways to torture us, and NFL exhibition games (a.k.a. The Big Yawn) are underway. Summer is careening recklessly into autumn, and with that comes the return of the Friends of Smoove B confidence football pool. It is time to welcome you, and your money, back into the fold.

Smoove himself, as usual, is busy, so I will be ghostwriting for him in this season’s confidence pool. The rules, dues, website, and (hopefully) the players remain more or less the same as last year. We normally have a tiny bit of attrition, and some select past players are on this mailing list in the hope that they can be persuaded to rejoin the fun of years past. But we’ll keep the total count somewhere in the mid 30’s. Those of you who were in this last year don’t need to do anything other than check your account at CBS Sportsline and update whatever needs updating. Those of you who will not be playing this year, just give me the word and I’ll slash your credit rating remove you from the standings. And those who are new or coming back, welcome! Let me know and I’ll send you the official Sportsline invitation.

As always, your $50 entry is good for the season. Weekly payouts of $50 for first and a to-be-determined amount for second will be the rule; season-long payouts are determined by player count.

And seriously...if all this friendly competition, for the low price of $50 isn't enough for you, consider the fact that you'll receiver weekly bonus coverage of critical current events that you won't get anywhere else!

Now how much would you pay?

I’ll be collecting those $50 entry fees whenever you’re ready. The address is in the email you should have received.