Monday Night Panic II

*Tap*tap*tap*

Is this thing on? Okay. First things first.

Even better for discouraged Packers fans is that C.C. Sabathia has indicated he may be able to go in Aaron Rodgers' place on short rest Sunday.

Meanwhile, here's Peter Graber's electrocardiogram as Jeff Reed of the Steelers lined up and hit the game winning field goal in overtime tonight vs. Baltimore:

Now where else have I seen that picture today?

Anyway, week four in the pool ended with hard-luck Pete and the wildly unpredictable Bill Gullo in a tie for first. BUT, and this is a really big but, the MNF total score tiebreaker, to which most of us barely give a second thought, was the difference in Bill's favor tonight. So congrats to Wild Bill on taking this week's jackpot. Anyplace in particular you might be investing those winnings, Bill? I heard tech stocks are hot.

I am really sorry about the "great big but" remark. It's late.

Tune in next week, if there is a next week, when my sister Amy will be using this space to deliver a major foreign policy address. She's in Bremerton, Washington, keeping an eye on Canada for us. Till then, good people. Go Brewers!!

By The Numbers

Sometimes I read the news and the weekly update just writes itself.

-Cost of upcoming bailout of Wall Street companies: $1 Trillion+.
-Extra amount Joe Mittnacht can put toward bailout by winning week three: $50
-Cost of Jerry Jones' new Texas Stadium: $1.2 Billion
-Number of Death Stars that can dock there: 2
-Days until the season premiere of The Office: 3
-First place Kelly's overall lead over the Sanderses after three weeks: 8
-Wins for first-year coach Tony Sparano of the Dolphins: 1

"Good t'ing we won. I'd hate to hafta do an intervention, you know, to da back of some official's head. Now get me Tom Brady's gooma."

Hope you enjoyed this brief foray into sports, sci-fi, pop culture, and high finance. Tune in next time as we mash-up quantum mechanics, Tony Kornheiser's non-sequiturs on MNF, and homemade carrot cake. Congratulations to Joe M for his hard-fought victory this week, and to all, have a great week.

Panic

Apart from a very satisfying yet terrifying Packer victory, not a lot has gone right the last few days.



Profuse apologies in advance to any fans of The Smiths, but didn't the lyrics go something like this?

They're panicked on Wall Street in New York
Panic in the halls of the Federal Reserve
I wonder to myself
What will become of my retirement fund?

The Lehman Brothers have gone belly-up
I wonder to myself
My wife thinks the economy's f****d up
But Honey Pie, you just made fifty bucks
So watch out for Rick Tulloch
Before he runs us out of town

It's always a delicate matter to announce that the wife of the commissioner has won the week and, for good measure, also moved into first place overall. But I can assure you (especially you newcomers) that there never have been any shenanigans, hooliganism, cronyism, jingoism, oil lobbyists, or investment bankers associated with this football pool. With the Dallas win tonight, Kelly edges Rick straight up, by a point.

Your next opportunity to make back the first 50 of whatever you lost here on Black Monday is already around the corner. Be on the lookout for falling stockbrokers, Lions fans, and the Brewers' coaching staff. Note to Matt Millen: Ned Yost is available, if that's helpful to you.

Where's My One?

With the cancellation of Baltimore @ Houston, everything you had ranked from that game on down should have moved up one.

Houston to be Rocked Like a Hurricane

...and for this reason, the Ravens-Texans game has been moved to Monday night. The tiebreaker game will be the originally scheduled MNF game, Philadelphia at Dallas. Just so you know.

The Daley Tattler

Hello everyone. I began writing this late Monday night, well before the end of the Broncos-Raiders games, certain of the outcome of that particular game. You've heard the term "safe as houses"? Well, that term doesn't count for much these days, so I'm replacing it with "safe as beating Oakland". The Broncos will beat the Raiders. The Raiders will beat the Raiders. My late grandmothers could run an effective zone blitz on the Raiders...while knitting.

So all that went down as expected, and we're left with two rookies dominating Week One, 2008.

In first is James Peters, who wins the Freshman 50. Looking back at the last several seasons, for whatever reason, first timers in this thing seem to get their money back almost instantly. James and I work together, so I know he understands well that things are rarely this easy.

In second this week is a former colleague, John Daley.

No no no, not that John Daley. Sorry. Our John Daley only smokes unfiltered Lucky Strikes. No, John and I go back to my days at Miller Brewing (now the MillerCoorsPiperJaffrayFedExBoeing joint venture), and remains a good friend.

As per usual requirements for rookie winners, James will be required to post a short bio within a few days...or one will be written for him.

Now, as for paying out cash money, you'll notice that our group has shrunk a bit, to 27 players. At this level it kind of doesn't make sense to pay out two winners a week (sorry John), as that would only leave token amounts for the overall winners at the end. So here's the math this time around:

Total pool: 27 players @ 50 = 1350

Weekly prize: 50 x 17 weeks = 850

This leaves 500 to divide amongst the overall winners. I propose:
250 for first
150 for second
75 for third
The usual 25 for the person who gets picks in every week but finishes with the worst point total overall. We fondly call this the Roo Award.

Anyone not in favor of this arrangement, please let me know. The Complaint Department is staffed daily (get it?) by Captain Haircut pictured above.

As always, I will for the most part pay out all winnings at the end of the season, which saves me check writing. Exceptions are gladly made upon request, or if I see you and happen to have the cash on me.

So welcome back everyone, and enjoy the season. I'll leave you tonight with this quotable from the NFL's youngest coach, Lane Kiffin of the Oakland Raiders:

"Oh f--k."

It's starting

Just a reminder to all y'all.  First game is Thursday evening, Sept 4.  Getcha picks in.