Joel Goes Off

The hallmark of the pool this season has been how close everybody is in the standings.  Very few are so far out of the running that they'd be in contention for the Roo Award - if there was such a thing this year.  Ironically, one such player might be Joel, who dropped a 131 on us, 18 points ahead of the next person who was...was...I don't know.  So 'grats to Fred Glitch and his Orchestra for winning the bonanza, which has to be damn near as exciting as tonight's 450 zillion dollar Powerball drawing.

(Sorry.  You didn't win.  Set the alarm tonight and be happy that you didn't get a swift kick in the n*ts courtesy of Ndamukong Suh.)

Matt Schaub auditions for his new career in opera

Things Like This Don't Happen

As you're aware, for the second time this season, our good buddy Kirk has hit from downtown (cue the deep rumble from somewhere deep in the earth's crust).  That alone should not be enough to start thinking maybe the Mayans were on to something after all.  However, there are enough conspiracy theorists running around lately that this news, in conjunction with the fact that I am doing most of the cooking for Thanksgiving tomorrow for the first time in my life, might touch off speculation that something apocalyptic this way comes.  Bill Gullo keeps sending me emails about his premonition that Jay Cutler returns from injury to throw for 420 yards and five touchdowns.

Be calm everyone.  Things like this just don't happen.

Happy Thanksgiving to all.  As I mentioned, I'm in the kitchen bright and early tomorrow working out the best balance of nutmeg, ginger, and hamburger seasoning for the pumpkin pie, so, you know, stop by for dessert if you're in the neighborhood.

Numbers Game

So, busy couple weeks.  In all that business - busyness? - yeah, busyness - I didn't have a chance to shout out to my sister way out in Seattle for her win in week 9.  And we also acknowledge Dean The Ninja, who stealthily emerged from the shadows, threw down a little football jiu-jitsu (16 on the Bengals. Yeah...), collected a second win this year, and quickly vanished into the ether again.  He's like that.  That was week 10.

The funny thing about all of this is that Nate Silver predicted both of these wins with 90% confidence three months ago.

Overall, standings at the top are tighter than Andy Reid's suspenders.  With tonight's win by Buffalo (over Miami - I throw that in because Drunk Nate Silver says there's a 99.5% chance you could not care less about either team), six points separates Ben (1st place right now) from Jim P (5th).

One last thing, in case you were wondering.  I'm no longer on the phone with BMO Harris.  Never did get through.  However, there has been a side benefit in that whole fiasco as the shrieking on-hold soundtrack they use has made Jon Gruden's color commentary on Monday Night Football sound at least 60% less annoying than it used to be.  Well, 50%.  Maybe 45.

Jon: "This guy...this guy...he's my favorite player in football.  He's an impact player.  I can't say enough about the job he's doing."

Mike: "Wasn't he just signed from the practice squad yesterday?"