Week 12

The air was cleaner and food tasted better yesterday night than it has for many weeks. Nice to actually get the 15 and 16 right for a change…and I suppose it didn’t hurt that the Bears lost. I should be feeling more inspired for all these reasons…

Take note, kids, that the Jim Wiesner insurgency has displaced the Bockheim sect in a palace coup and is now out front in the season-long derby. However, uprisings from both the Sarah and Anna factions are already threatening the new leadership’s fragile hold on power.

Given that no one has failed to get picks in this season, I expect a tight sprint to the finish with at least five of you vying for first alone.

Banal football-audience-targeted advertiser of the week: McDonald's. I know McD's is probably too easy a mark, but only in the alternate universe of TV marketing does a young, popular African-American male gaze at a party crasher and say "where's my parfait, homey?"

Week 12 shakes out thusly: if the Pack wins this evening, we all win. But Jerry Z wins a little more, and Brother Jim finishes second. If the Seahawks win, Jerry falls into the abyss, with Brother Jim winning first and arch-nemesis Jim Newman taking second. So basically, if your first name does not begin with J, we can't do nuttin for ya tonight.

We break in to regular programming with this ever-so-subtle reminder: some of you still haven't paid your entry fee. You know who you are, and thanks to the magic of cheap web hosting, now everyone else knows too.



Do NOT make me send her after you.

Week 11

The quote of the week comes from Kelly, who did in fact sleepily murmur the following just before bedtime the other day:
"I have the gift. The gift of night-night."

The Smoove player of the week is the enigmatic Pete Graber, who I finally met in person at the Marquette game last Tuesday evening. That's one less player in the Smoove whose existence I need not doubt.

Commercial inanity of the week:

"You've waited all year...and now it's here...endless shrimp...at Red Lobster.”

So now you have the unenviable task of choosing between that and another highly anticipated annual event, Toyotathon ’06. Choose well and stay tuned, because next week I’m going to bash the hell out of a Chevy truck while Mellencamp’s “Our Country” plays in the background.

Statistic of the week: The number of us who blew our 16 in week 11: 21 (out of 32). In week 10 it was 10…in week 9, 23. With accuracy like that, we could all be TV meteorologists.

On to the potential winners of week 11:
If I’ve done the math right, Bill Gullo needs Jacksonville tonight for first, and yours truly would in that case take second. If NYG wins, Ann Marie (Dragan) takes top honors and Captain Kirk is Miss Congeniality (and really, when is he not?).

Please do note this very important, uh, note: Thursday is Thanksgiving Day, which all of you are well aware of, having purchased numerous Thanksgiving presents while listening to all the Thanksgiving music on the radio. This means picks are due on Thursday!

Happy T-Day to all, and be advised that the Friends of Smoove B football pool will be broadcasting continuous Christmas favorites starting now through December 26.

Week 10

A new episode of “Conversations With Sis” begins right now [binnggggggg] here on Smoove B Broadcasting.

Me: Ames, seriously, what the f***?
Sis: What?
Me: You won again.
Sis: I did?? Woohoo!
Me: You have GOT to tell me the secret.
Sis: I can't say too much. You have to smoke the right number of banana peels.
Me: What?
Sis: Joking!
Me: Oh.
Sis: It's really the cough drops.
Me: Of course it is. How many?
Sis: I stopped at 14, right after an image of a weeping Dick Vermeil appeared on my organic nine-grain toast. Hey, I'm thinking about coming to town for Thanksgiving Day after all. I can collect my winnings then, if that's okay with you?
Me: Great. I'll go see my personal lender at M&I. How is it that you only lost two on the Falcons and three on the Patriots?
Sis: Easy. Chad Pennington was rising in the constellation Andromeda two nights ago.
Me: What?
Sis: For real.
Me: So you’re still till taking those cough drops then?
Sis: Don’t get snippy. It’s working, isn’t it? How much have you won?
Me: Yeah, well….
Sis: Anyway, I gotta run. When we win, Jeff and I make extra hot double-skim lattes and do the electric boogaloo. He's getting his dancing shoes on now.
Me: They must be nearly worn out by now.

The rumors are true. Amy Dunn has finished in the money in four out of ten tries, three of those going for first place. Her total winnings so far put her at right about the amount the overall winner gets in January and just shy of the amount one needs to possess to appear on “Celebrity Cribs”.

The Nadine and Joe Sanders duo (are they a duo or does Joe secretly do the picks from an undisclosed location?) came up with just enough mojo to take second this week after what has so far been a tough season for them.

Also note the change of the guard at the top. Aaron (that’s just Aaron to you) has overtaken the Michigan Marauder for first in the overall, though by a razor thin margin. It’s getting interesting. Anybody shooting for the bottom yet? Not working, is it? I’d have put 16 on the Texans too. Whoops.

Have a good week.