Roo Awarded

The news of Week 7, of course, is that Roo has triumphed, successfully navigating yet another hot mess of a football weekend that saw the Raiders put up more points in one game than they did in the last three seasons combined. In keeping with the theme of football this year, he was also injured while doing his picks and might miss 3-4 weeks.

Kinda late and it's been a long day, starting entirely too early wall-to-wall political ads interspersed with wall-to-wall coverage of some very high winds here in the midwest, so I'll leave you with this thought: run for your lives!

Lightning Strikes But Twice

For the second time in three weeks, Dan Franklin's our winner. Upon taking it to the house, he promptly signed his picks with a Sharpie, ate all my popcorn, and sent a text to Jenn Sterger. Smelling opportunity, I tried to sell this story to Deadspin. They aren't returning my calls.

But no need to play that sad trombone for me. It's that time of year when I am sometimes lucky enough to be traveling back from somewhere nice, and there is no better resource for the unintentionally hilarious than Skymall magazine. So even as I was scoping out talking golf clubs and USB-powered wine racks, I found this.



Words fail me.

Maybe somebody better get Ted Thompson on the line. The Packers need any help they can get and what better help than gravity-defying athletic shoes...now with Sperm Drive®!

Bill Goes Nuclear

Okay. This is highly tardy but my excuse is that I'm in an undisclosed location with intentionally limited internet access unless you count the B&B's Wifi, my phone, and iPod touch. Almost totally disconnected, you see.

Anyway. Unless you're Gullo you know you didn't win last week. What none of you probably knew is that I have no record of a total point spread that large. There was Bill and then there was his closest pursuer, Kristin, 23 points behind. So he basically ran this marathon alone, defying convention and making us all look silly.

Or was there something more to it than that?



All I know is we're gonna have to beef up security around the W.O.P.R.

Lightning Strikes But Once

...and we therefore congratulate Ben Dan Franklin on his win this week. It's rare that we use the tiebreaker, and I would imagine Joel looked at the standings Monday afternoon, saw the 65 Dan posted as a point total, and figured great, smooth sailing. But it wasn't enough to bet the under, as New England alone accounted for 41 points. That other team put up a few too.

So condolences to Joel. Insult to injury, he was the only one in the pool who didn't register a sack of Jay Cutler Sunday night.

In other news, Moon Man returns to the Vikings. As a result, sources are reporting that Brett Favre may rejoin the team after missing the first three weeks of the season.