Breaking

This is a little off-topic, but in case you missed it, apparently regular-season play in the NBA has begun. Details are very sketchy at this time, and we are seeking eyewitnesses. Check back for more on this developing story.

Comin' to you over the "series of tubes"...

I'm still not used to the idea of American football being played at Wembley in London, as we had yesterday for the second straight year. I really should learn to speak British.

The winner of Week 8, for the second time this season, is one Bill Gullo. At this rate we're going to have to name an airport or something after him. There's one in Anchorage that might be freeing up, come to think of it.

Okay, so there's some business to take care of. I've gotten desperate emails or calls nearly every Sunday this season about getting picks in late. I'm mostly okay with that, although getting your picks in on time, like reading, is fundamental. One thing I will not do is accommodate requests to "just give me all the favorites in random order" or stuff like that. You must actually make picks. If you don't, your request will be refused with extreme prejudice. I may also tell your mom.

And scare you too:



Oh, snap!

Happy Halloween everyone.

You May Ask Yourself

You may find yourself...in first place.
You may find yourself...behind the wheel of a Chrysler automobile
You may find yourself...in Green Bay Wisconsin
At Shopko
In the ladies' unmentionables department
And you may ask yourself...well, how did I get here?

Those of you who have been in this for awhile know that every year about this time, Green Bay's own Sarah Schneider rises from not-yet-frozen tundra to claim her own. Always around midseason, almost without fail, she turns over a winning hand. History repeats. Congratulations to Sarah.

In case you were wondering why we're channeling the Talking Heads tonight, something occurred to me the other day, and now I can't shake my suspicion. We never saw Bruce Wayne and Batman together...or Spiderman and Peter Parker. And what about David Byrne and Ted Thompson?



Next week, tune in as Ted sings "Life During Wartime".

Meanwhile, the shy, spotlight-shunning wife of the party, Kelly Wiesner, remains number one with a bullet in the standings. Her 38 point lead over her nearest pursuit (Dan Franklin) at the end of Week 7 (still fairly early) may be unprecedented in Smoove history. I can't explain it. I mean, her fantasy team isn't doing well at...ack! I wasn't supposed to tell you that. Gotta go!

Your Mother Was A Hamster...

So here we are, six weeks into the season, and Kelly suddenly appears at the parapet of the castle wall, peers at you with disdain, and says in her best French accent "You children of a silly person! I will now taunt you a second time."

You know what happens when the commissioner's wife wins the weekly jackpot two of six weeks, don't you? That's right, the smear campaign has started.

From Stellick (2nd place this week, no $$): "Abuse of power!"
From Dean and Marlene (3rd place, no $$): "Joe is a terrorist! And has a funny name!"
From J-Z (4th place, no $$): "Uh, thanks man, for, uh, getting my late picks in."

Kelly remains our overall leader this week, with a sizable (for this early in the season) lead of 24 over Dan Franklin. The Roo Award leader at this point remains my brother Jon, but the Vegas insiders aren't willing to offer odds on this one yet.

In case anyone is curious, and I am sure there are many of you, this here link will take you to the finances worksheet. Of particular interest is the "Balance" column, where a negative number indicates I.O.U. and a positive number means U.O. ME.

That's the update for this week. I now ride off into the sunset, banging two coconuts together.

Crisis Management

*Tap*tap*tap*

Is anyone still out there? After the kind of weekend we had in Wisconsin sports, the only ones still out on the streets are investment bankers looking for the odd bailout million or two, if you can spare it, brother. The last three weeks I've cribbed the weekly update partly from the news headlines. I'm going to stop that. The first three times our 401Ks were sliced by 10% were funny, but now it's getting kind of serious.

As I write this, the Vikings have just won and we therefore have a tie for first - a three-way, no less (leave it alone Roo). So we go to the tiebreaker, and the point total of 57 tonight leaves us with one party out (sorry Laurie) but yet another tie. There is no second tiebreaker, so Team Marlene-Dean and my sister Amy will split the pot this week (congratulations to both).

Fittingly, today is Amy's birthday, and while I won't tell you how old she is, I will say she was once 37.

I am now a dead man. Does anyone want to take this over next week?