That's a Buffalo Wrap.

The following conversation took place moments ago. It was at least a little bit related to the results of the final week of the 2008 Friends of Smoove B football pool, which saw a house divided going into Sunday night. I needed Denver and Kel needed San Diego, and we all know how that turned out. Kel thus won her third weekly prize, against the donut I posted, this season.

"Well, I feel kind of bad about beating you again. You can have my winnings this week. Maybe you can buy one of those blue cheese things at Flannery's."

"Um, did you mean a Blu-Ray player at Flanner's?"

"Sure, that."

"I'm not sure $50 will cover it."

Now just for the record, Flannery's has a buffalo chicken wrap with bleu cheese dressing that is completely excellent.

Speaking of excellence, it is now time to recognize the overall winners, now that the regular season has concluded. You may recall the winnings will be distributed as discussed in this post.

We begin with Gina "The Warrior Princess" Mittnacht, who unleashed a can of whoopass a few weeks ago and basically never looked back. Well-played Gina. 250.

In second we have Team Sanders, who ran out of whoopass a couple weeks ago but did have a can of Chunky Soup at the ready, and they held on for second, by a scant four-point margin. Nicely done. 150.

Pete Graber takes third, having unleashed a can of pinto beans on Rick Tulloch, who came within that same four point margin of a money spot. 75 to Pete.

And this year's Roo Award goes to Team Dean & Marlene, who unleashed a half-empty can of sour Redi-Whip on the rest of us, and thus lock up the last 25 bucks I have to send out this week. They achieved the lowest point total of the season, without ever having missed doing picks.

So, to attend to business: the financials are here. The most important column is the rightmost one. If you see a number in parentheses there, that is ME owning YOU (and checks are going out this week). If you see a zero, we're straight. If there is a positive number there, i.e., a number not in parentheses, that's YOU owing ME your entry fee. I'm looking at two of you. I don't think I made any mistakes on this, but it can't hurt to check and advise me of any errors.

And that's about all there is. Be sure to check this space along about March Madness time, for those of you into college basketball, and assuming we do this football thing next year, I will be finding a way to exclude the Thursday night games. Take that, NFL Network scum.

To all of you, the happiest of new years in '09!

Alright boys, take us outta here.

To all

Everyone, have a great Christmas. Or should I say....Kirkmas?

That's right, the guy sporting the dirty trucker look picks up another year tomorrow.

Picks for the final week are NOT, underline not, due tomorrow! If NFL.com is right, all games are on Sunday.

Uh, for the record, he doesn't usually look like that.

The Story So Far

It was getting late. The frost on the inside of the car was battling for cold-nuisance supremacy with the ice chunks on the outside of the car. I started 'er up, the transmission reluctantly clunking into gear. I checked my watch, which the cold had now fused to my wrist. There was still time.

I had to get moving. I eased into traffic as best I could, avoiding a quartet of penguins and a lone polar bear, all of whom looked quite at home on 60th Street. I made a mental note to check with the zoo about this. Using my new razor-sharp Arctic driving skills, I rode the clutch and slipped the car forward at funny angles to combat the awful traction. So far so good.

By the time I reached the freeway, traffic had slowed to a crawl, probably because of the igloos that had mysteriously appeared on the on-ramp. I made a mental note to check local zoning ordinances, and carefully eased the car past an Inupiat family hanging out its laundry.

Traffic got better until around 37th street, where again we stalled due to the 5:45 trans-Siberian train crossing. I made a mental note to find out how this city finally acquired rail transit and checked the car's temperature gauge. It just laughed at me.

I made up a little time from there, despite being relentlessly passed by aggressive sled-dog teams and their mushers, all clad in six or seven layers of Gore-Tex.

Home was now close. I reached my parking spot and shut everything down. It was now just a quick walk across a patch of frozen tundra and I'd be able to...BAM! I had been run down by the Packers's kick-coverage team. They apparently mistook me for the guy they were actually supposed to tackle. I made a mental note to find out how many times that had happened this season, and tried to make my now-numb fingers work the key enough to open the lock, losing precious time in doing so. I stumbled through the door, tracking snow all over the place, and checked the clock. Too late.

I was not going to get my picks in on time.

So what's your story?

It had to happen sometime. After 11 years, I didn't get my picks in until the despised Thursday night game was well underway. I docked myself the requisite 16, and that, as they say, was that.

Congratulations to Dan Franklin, who had no such issues and wins the weekly jackpot in the second-to-last week of our season. As for the rest of us, Radar indicates there might be more snow on the way.

Crap.

More on Wednesday.

The Answer is Yes

It being Wednesday, you already know what the question was.

And now, here's a picture of a sign.

Wherefore art thou Romeo?

Undoubtedly this was the question Dean and Marlene must have been asking themselves tonight. As they often do (and they think I don't notice these things), they put 16 on the 'dog on Monday night, and accumulated enough points in the other 15 games to be within striking distance of winning the week. Unfortunately, they needed the Browns, and needing the Browns is like needing the Packers to pass rush. Or winter to not be cold.

Gina Mittnacht tonight can be found in the spare bedroom as she edged out husband Joe for the Week 14 prize. "It's okay Joe," she was overheard saying sweetly. "You're still much better than me at drying dishes."

Gina's also keeping things interesting for Team Sanders, as she trails them by only a point overall. Just three weeks remain and this thing is very much up for grabs, with probably six of you having a realistic shot at finishing in the money.

As for the rest of us, all we can do is give our honest effort the rest of the way...and start thinking about college basketball. Watch this. It's cool.

Reminder

Hope you're doing what you can to enjoy the holidays. Friendly reminder here about the game tomorrow night, meaning picks are due by about 5 pm (CST) Thursday.

Tulloch Wins, Fox Needs Ratings Boost, Film at 11

The NFL world was rocked by the news that Rick Tulloch has won Week 14, edging Pete Graber and Kelly Larum (never heard of her) by a mere point. Rick only got six of his fifteen minutes of fame, though, before the NFL was further rocked by the news that Vikings owner Zygi Wilf has a really bad mustache (this link best clicked from places other than work or the kids' room).

I mean, rolling a live video feed from a locker room full of sweaty guys who just played a football game. What could possibly go wrong?

Ah, it brings back fond memories of Super Bowls past, especially that one where Janet Jackson had really bad makeup.

Good times, good times.

So once again, congratulations to Rick, and for those of you in the Milwaukee area, we return you now to continuous coverage of the light sleet that is falling live from the Mega-Doppler 5000 Storm Watch Team Headquarters. That's right folks, it's getting really bad out there tonight so if you're driving down to the corner Walgreen's or whatever, be sure to pack a shovel, extra blankets, sand, salt, nutmeg, a flashlight, a reading light, a night light, and The Carpenters' Greatest Hits.

Reminder

Second snow day of the season. Anyone else ready to call it a winter?

Picks picks picks. Due tomorrow by 5pm, owing to the hated Thursday night game.

Condolences

Just a quick one tonight.

First, congratulations to Aaron on win #2 this season.

Second, I learned earlier today that Nadine Sanders' (of Team Sanders, the current overall leaders in the pool) mom passed away yesterday. I thought it would be good to let Nadine and Joe know that even over here in our tiny little football pool, we're thinking of them.

Have a good (what's left of the) week.