For the second time in three weeks, Dan Franklin's our winner. Upon taking it to the house, he promptly signed his picks with a Sharpie, ate all my popcorn, and sent a text to Jenn Sterger. Smelling opportunity, I tried to sell this story to Deadspin. They aren't returning my calls.
But no need to play that sad trombone for me. It's that time of year when I am sometimes lucky enough to be traveling back from somewhere nice, and there is no better resource for the unintentionally hilarious than Skymall magazine. So even as I was scoping out talking golf clubs and USB-powered wine racks, I found this.
Words fail me.
Maybe somebody better get Ted Thompson on the line. The Packers need any help they can get and what better help than gravity-defying athletic shoes...now with Sperm Drive®!
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